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[ORP] The only good redhead is a dead redhead

Lorcan
Lorcan turned his head while trying to calm his darling and saw a familiar roguish face. Smiling brightly he greats his good friend, Seamus, best smith in all Ireland and most avid Whiskey drinker.

Citation:
Hello little Lor. Hello Vi. What's the commotion all about? The town hasn't run out of whiskey has it?!?


His heart shuddered and almost stopped outright at Seamus’s most blasphemous words. Then he remembered the six barrels of Irish whiskey he had in his brothers cellar and smile almost reassuringly.

“Nothing that catastrophic, friend. Me thinks the Nameless Traveller has poked the lion a bit to much with a sharp stick as well as a giant bear for good measure. Should be amusing to see the outcome. Brain smashing; Enlightening by Spoon; Death by slow torture or a standard mob stoning. I am open to any outcome with anticipation.” Lorcan said with a smile on his face.
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The Waterford Shipping Company | Proud memeber of the Rounders | Muster Marine

Eternal grá agus deabhóid do mo Violina.
Violina
Lina heard Seamus's voice before she felt Lor's arm around her waist tighten just a little. Smiling she turned to face her friend and moved to kiss his cheek.

"That boyo thinks that redheads are...are..." She drew in a breath to calm herself, not wanting to be too angry in front of her friend...he had seen her enlighten enough people that he knew her very well. "He doesn't like gingers!" She said dramatically, scowling as she stuck her free hand in her pocket for her spoon, barely able to keep herself from grasping the handle and drawing the utensil from her skirts.
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Seamus
Little Lor a écrit:
“Nothing that catastrophic, friend."


Upon hearing his friend deny the worst thing that could happen to the Isle, Seamus breathes a bit easier. Though not knowing why the man would want to poke a lion, he nods trying to understand the ramblings coming from his friend. He thought to himself that once this was done he should check on his stock at 'The Dirt Glass' just to make sure it was still there. It wasn't until Vi spoke that all became clear...

Vi a écrit:
"That boyo thinks that redheads are...are...He doesn't like gingers!"



Seamus just stood there in shock. He had many friends who are redheads, most of which had helped him in one way or another. This lad needed some sense knocked into him. Seamus's hand slowly dropped to the hammer stuck in his belt. It wasn't a fancy 'war hammer' like Lor's just a simple five pound straight pein hammer, but he figured if it worked for iron and steel it would work to fix this lad.

I should knock some sense inta him. I mean, who doesna like redheads?
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Daubigny
Well I'm a redhead.

Maybe someone wants to come to the arena and take my scalp.

I don't mind taking on small groups
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Porcina
Porcie began to laugh so hard the tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. "This mission should have been begun in Scotland. The ratio of reds to not-reds is a bit more favorable." This had to be a joke.
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Edern
Really ? Someone calculated this ratio ? He did know that ethnic statistics were helpful to improve societies... knowledge is power. Head for Scotland, captain. Another future victory against the so-called ginger supremacy is to be won. Nevertheless, things turn out a bit differently here. The crowd is getting unsafe. Three armed men ready to fight, three harpies and two women laughing madly. Devil's elimination could soon become Edern's own lynching...

Redefining priorities would not be irrelevant.

He should first ignore Violina. Nothing is more dangerous than a spoon. Especially a small one. He has not seen hers yet, but has been well-trained regarding its detection. He spent indeed several weeks last autumn as a member of the army of a wild Breton marquise whose favourite weapon was such utensil... she was a redhead and almost killed him whereas she was only drunk. What a coincidence. Ridiculous, shiny and mortal... the spoon has always been redhead's best friend.
He should ask for Lorcan's help. At least someone has understood what is going on. Unfortunately, the local storyteller is too redheaded to speak up for him... too bad.
He should confess everything to Aishling and apologize to Catriona for having hurt their faith, but not their hair.
He should pay a couple of pints to Seamus and Daubigny to prevent them from being tactless with him...
He should kiss Gricel, marry her, lay thousands of children and live happily until their deaths.
He should make hundreds of copies right now in order to please Porcina.
And finally he should shut up and take French leave.

Even if it disappointed these cute Irish ?
To thy audience thou shall cleave.
Just be foolish.
Ahem.


PEOPLE OF IRELAND ! This is a conspiracy led by the ENGLISH COWARDS to weaken you by confusing your minds ! Trust me, I saw the spy who wrote those infamous lines : he also tried to STEAL your BEER !

Terrific. Do not give them the time to use their brains. Keep on speaking.

I know quite well the Grand Inquisitor. He is a good man and will listen to our claims. So we must write to him collectively to make sure that Aristotle's messages won't be forged again.

End of the speech. He gazes at Aishling.

Do you agree, dear Archdeacon ?

Game of chance. Double or nothing...
Gricel_marie
Gricel hear everyone talk, no one seemed to take the posters lies too seriously but at least it would be investigated just in case. Then she watched Edern as he went quiet with a silly look on his face, she wondered if he was plotting something or just letting one out...
Then when he spoke took her by surprise,she almost thought it had been him all along who put the poster there....now a spy he says? A beer staling spy none the less! " Are you serious? this cant be a joke, we cant let that happen..." In her mind this was the worst thing yet... Gricel was already panicking, and getting thirsty at the same time. " Wait , how exactly does that spy you say you saw looks like ?" She was very suspicious of Edern but did not wanted to take a chance on anything he said...confused Gricel looked at the others around surely they would know how to handle this situation and she will just act calm and hope for the best...

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-Taking a sip of the naughty juice...
Catriona_mackenzie
Cat started at the sound of the man's voice as he loudly proclaimed the poster to be the work of English spies and then went on to say they were also stealing beer. "Whit yer talkin' about?" she said to him. "There's plenty beer in the taverns and I've nay heard any tavern owners complaining of their beer being stolen."

Perhaps it was odd that she addressed that point first, rather than the other, but beer was important!

"Now as for the other stuff ... an English conspiracy? Why do ye think that? This poster looked more like the work of one nutter. Unless ye have some proof I see no need to react to this attempt to raise a mob that plays on daft superstition with another attempt to see conspiracies where there are likely none. As for the fella ye saw, how about a description of him? That would be most helpful thing right now."

If he had seen the fellow at all, which she was doubting given his claims that the english were trying to steal their beer. She glanced at Porcie who seemed to be in a fit of laughter and sighed with a smile, shaking her head at the last. Perhaps she would have taken this all a bit more seriously if the poster had been proclaimed in the name of an organisation that the lass was part of, but Cat could see why the lass saw the humour in it all. Especially now some one was trying to say that it was a conspiracy to steal the town's beer.
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Gricel_marie
Gricel calmed down and payed attention to Lady Catriona, she sure seemed to know what she was talking about , Gricel sighed and rested her back against the wall with her arms folded and looked back at Edern... " Just tell us what the spy looked like, if you're so sure you saw one.." Although this was getting a little old, Gricel had nothing better to do at the moment so she decided to stick around a bit more and see where it would go...
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-Taking a sip of the naughty juice...
Porcina
She wiped the moisture from her eyes, making an apologetic face at Cat. Meh, the English can have the beer, sae long as they dinnae touch the whiskey. She found Edern to be curiously informed all of a sudden, which piqued her interest.

Surreptitiously, she looked for inkstains of the blackest black upon his fingers.
Aye, please do describe this English person.
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Pagan
Pagan was taking a walk as she noticed a gathering that appeared to be a start of a public lynching or something of the sort. Pagan loved public lynchings, executions and all sorts of spectacles of that nature, and as she spotted a few of her friends in the crowd she had no doubt the bugger had it coming. Pagan joined the crowd and flashed a grin at Cat and Porcie:

"Hello Cat, hello Porcie. What's this I hear about stealing beer? Did he steal yer beer or was it the other way around? Anyway, whatever his crime I say we hang him already!!!"
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Catriona_mackenzie
She smiled at Gricel as she spoke up to add extra pressure to the man and then back to Porcie, although it had to be said that a faint look of alarm crossed Cat's face at the thought of the whiskey being stolen. Dear Jah, anything but the whiskey!

It was then that she heard a distinctive voice greeting them and with a cry of delight Cat turned to see Pagan. "Och there ye are!" Cat exclaimed. "A got yer letter this morning and didn't know whether to write again in case the messenger crossed paths with ye and missed ye. So lovely to see ye, Pagan!"

She grinned like a fool and it would be a moment before she would be able to retell what had happened to the newly arrived lass, unless someone stepped in before her...
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Porcina
Hullo, Pagan, Porcie partially withdrew her attention from scrutinizing the strange man's fingernails in order to smile greetings at their clanmate. This fellow here appeared at about the same time as a poster describing a URAC mandated crusade against the Red Menace. We think it might be either a farce, lunacy, or else a malicious impersonation of the church, perhaps even of the Inquisition itself!

Her eyebrows climbed skyward as she spoke, and when she mentioned the poster she gestured towards Aishling, the last person Porcie recalled holding the notice. Her expression attempted to convey both respect for the possible gravity and amusement at the utter absurdity of the situation. Did I mention that the Red Menace is ginger-haired folk?

Summary delivered, Porcie (who had shamelessly read Pagan's letter over Cat's shoulder) looked around to see if Aria or either of these "wooers" Pagan mentioned were in the vicinity.
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Edern
The Archdeacon does not want to cooperate. Change of plans. What does an English conspirator look like ? At least not like Edern, that is to say a medium slender man, whose dark hair and eyes are half covered by the shadow of a wide hat chosen to be well-matched with his black and white clothing. Not like a discreet traveller occasionally asking odd questions to unknown dwellers. Not like a transient joker just scoffing at certitudes and seriousness...

He is a short fatty, wearing pink trousers and a yellow shirt. Blue eyes, long nose. Bald-headed. An enormous grey moustache. Two beauty spots on the right cheek. Not very wily. I may add that, contrary to Lady Catriona, I think there's no contradiction in being a nutter and an Englishman.

Not too bad, but a bit too short.
Drawing him on the dusty ground could be amusing.
Pagan's arrival gives him Porcina's name, the spectator who has nearly drowned in her own tears. Always get the name of the other players at war. Eleven of them are playing on the chessboard. Roles are being identified. Women are the most inquisitive about the Inquisition. Be wary of the ones who laugh too loud. What was Porcina looking at ? You. She is obviously falling in love with you. Well. Your fingers. Your beautiful fingers. He did not stain them this morning but years of writing do leave marks on their tip. Knocking the curious female in front of everybody would make him a dead man before dawn. And rough solutions are so boring...
Let's try something more excessive.
An incredible move.


No tavern owner was stolen because I arrived just in the nick of time to oppose the thief. We fought, I won though I was robbed of my pounds and my ink. Then he disappeared and I looked for him until I saw the poster against the... Red Menace.

Satisfied sigh. If there were any god for lies and improvisation, Edern's soul would have been saved for ages...

Please don't thank me. He must be far away now, as you waste your time talking nonsense !
Pagan
Pagan really didn't know much about Aristotelian faith or the Inquisition but she was quick-witted and a good improviser, she had heard sermons and masses and priests talking with each other so she figured she knew exactly what to say to push the mob over the line and into a proper lynching frenzy:

"Well I'm appalled!" she proclaimed self-righteously. "Jah loves all His children, both redheads and us normal folk alike! It is not about the color of the hair, it is what's under it that counts! Many of me best friends have ginger hair - and I've never held it against them! And furthermore, as is said in the Book of Virtues: 'Thou shalt giveth painful and gruesome death upon those who bevile and blackball the Holy Inquisition!' So I hope somebody has rope!" Pagan suddenly remembered something and looked worried. "And whiskey! Please tell me we have enough whiskey with us! We can't have a lynching without whiskey. A lynching without whiskey is like a cloudy day - bland and depressing."
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